Finding Balance In Your Homeschool

What Is Balance?

What is balance, anyway? I'll give you my definition.

Balance is a state of emotional well being, and I really think that finding balance is going to be a different state of affairs for every family. Balance is being happy with your life, in spite of its imperfections. If you are unhappy with your life--truly unhappy--then maybe it's time for something to change.

Keep Your Eyes On Your Own Paper

I think the biggest mistake a person can make in anything they are doing is to look at what another family is doing and say, "Oh, I need to be doing what they're doing to be successful." In my experience, that just leads to dissatisfaction. I like that little saying, "Comparison is the death of contentment." I think comparison is very tempting in the homeschooling world. It's okay to compare notes and to talk about what we are using for curriculum, but when we get into the nuts and bolts of a family's income, employment and schedule choices, whether to homeschool through graduation or not, whether or not to utilize public schools, and disicipline choices, I fear we are treading on thin ice.

To illustrate my point: have you ever watched one of those popular home makeover shows on TV? I can watch one of those shows, and by the end of the show I am no longer content with my house! I will get this big burst of energy to make my home just like what I saw on TV, but then I realize I don't have the resources or that it just wouldn't work here, and then I feel let down. Again, it's nice to share ideas. It's great to take what works for you and use it to your own benefit, but I believe it is a healthy thing to admire something, realize it's not for you (however good it is), and let go of it and move on.

What Can You Change?

Ask yourself, "How do I feel about my life right now?" If you don't feel good about your life, then perhaps something needs to change. It might be a little change or a big change that needs to take place. For example, I love homemade bread and I think it is a wonderful idea, but it was really bogging me down to be tied up with just the notion that it had to be homemade from start to finish. So I bought a bread machine that does the hard work for me. We still have homemade bread, but I don't do all the kneading and waiting and punching and waiting again! That's a little change and it's a healthy compromise. An example of a big change is when my husband was diagnosed with a serious medical condition and we realized our medical insurance was substandard in relation to the financial disaster we could end up with. Even though I loved being a stay-at-home mom, I no longer had balance. I was worried and had no peace about how we might end up. The realization that I could do something about our insurance situation was very heavy on my mind. So I looked at my priorities and I asked myself, "Can I continue to homeschool the ones who need it AND go out and get a job working enough hours to get benefits?" With a little help from my mom and my husband, I felt it could work, so I did what I had to do. I'm busier, but I have peace. It also helps to know this is just a "season" in life.

If you don't feel happy with your life, take the time to really think about why you feel unhappy. Is it because you truly need to make a change? Or is it because you want what someone else has? It's not always been easy for me to realize the real answer to that question!

Balance Enhancers:

• Make a list of your priorities and keep it where you can look at it when you're feeling overwhelmed. It may be that you just need to get re-focused. Reading over your priority list can help you do that.
• Re-evaluate your priorities from time to time. If family needs have changed, look at what can be done to meet new needs. Celebrate the fulfillment of old needs.
• Don't be afraid of change. Be flexible, relax, and enjoy the journey. If there's one thing constant in this world, it's change!

Balance Detractors:

• Overdosing on a good thing:
• too many extracurricular activities
• too much time on line or in co-ops
• too many curriculum purchases. I tend to get stars in my eyes in the curriculum store and buy more than I can do and then I end up overwhelmed!
• Not getting enough rest and not getting any "down time."
• Being unwilling to let go of something that's not working.

Household tips:

• Big basket idea. Keep a large, pretty basket in each room that gets heavy traffic. Use it to collect clutter. When it's full, have everyone retrieve what's theirs. Set a time limit. What's left over gets thrown out!
• Keeping the floors clean. I don't necessarily mean mopping every day, but just getting the clutter off the floor. If the floor is cleaned up, then the whole room looks neater. And actually, I do like my house better when the kitchen stays mopped and the carpets get vacuumed regularly.
• Don't let yourself be overwhelmed with paperwork. I try to handle a piece of paper only once. If it's a bill, pay it or put it with the bills to pay. If it's junk mail, recycle it immediately. Have a place just for school work and keep it where it needs to be from the start so that you don't spend precious time hunting for old assignments, etc. Keep a basket on the file cabinet for papers that need to be filed. Try to file right away, but if you can't, then at least you know where important papers are if you need them. When a piece of paper ends up in my hands, I decide where it goes and quickly put it away.
• Calendar and appointments - write things down immediately!
• Take time for YOU!

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Quotations

"A rich child often sits in a poor mother's lap."
Danish proverb

"I hear and I forget.
I see and I remember.
I do and I understand."
Chinese proverb